Monday, 22 November 2010

A Matter of Black and White

I had a day off parenting duties on Saturday so Clare and I went to the theatre to see the new touring production of Chess. Clare had never heard of it (born in the 80s, you see) and the only time I saw it was more than 20 years ago so I didn't remember much of it, other than the action revolves around the World Chess Championships in 1979 and 1980 (racy, I know) and its most famous song is I Know Him So Well.

I have good memories of it the first time round, but having seen it again I'm not entirely sure why. I remember the song One Night in Bangkok at the beginning of the second half, but I'm fairly sure that most of the plot must have passed me by the first time I saw it. It relies on a certain amount of understanding of what conditions in Soviet Russia were like at the time, and at least a passing knowledge of the Hungarian Revolution of 1956 against Soviet-imposed policies. Which obviously we all had before we arrived.

Actually, the reason this particular rendition of this particular show isn't up there among my all-time favourites is precisely because it required a knowledge of those things, and the reason knowledge was a prerequisite was that the singers were, as ever, largely drowned out by the music and it was extremely difficult to hear what they singing. If it weren't for the fact that the female lead was almost always understandable, I would have blamed the sound desk entirely, but as she was much clearer, my conclusion is that the other actors were simply not enunciating. Which was a real shame, because I'm pretty sure we missed a lot of what was going on, and came away feeling a bit underwhelmed.

This production was choreographed by Craig Revel Horwood of Strictly fame, and this side of the performance was very well done. A lot of the instruments were played on-stage by the supporting cast, which was very unusual and worked really well, but all in all, my impressions were that one of the male leads behaved like a spoilt child, the other was totally flaky and it didn't take much to turn his head, and the female lead, whilst a great singer, was just a bit of a cow. I'm sure if I had been able to hear the words being sung I would have come away with a lot more than that...

Friday, 19 November 2010

A Week at Nanna & Grandpa's

Daisy and I just got back from a lovely week at my Mum & Dad's. We left last Thursday and drove to Manchester - the journey was fine; she slept all the way and when she woke up I pulled into the nearest service station and fed her, then we got on our way again - and we spent the afternoon with Grandma & Grandad (aka Rob's Mum & Dad), Auntie Kath and Uncle Tom, then we went round to stay the night with my friends Catherine and Ben, their dog Betsy, cat Chester and as-yet-unnamed 24-week-old foetus. The following day we drove up to Mum & Dad's, and Jen arrived after work for the weekend. Mum had arranged to have people round for a meal that evening before I decided to come, so there were 8 of us for dinner. I got Daisy up at 23:00 for her bottle and everyone cooed over her.

Saturday was my birthday, and I got the best present from Daisy - she didn't wake up till 06:20! Saturday was also the day that my old recorder teacher, Jane, was in town from her home in Peebles with her husband and son. I haven't seen her since her wedding day over 7 years ago so we arranged for them to come round for lunch. We also invited the four girls I used to play in music groups with - first I was in a trio with Lisa and Anna, then Anna and I joined Laura and Louise in a quartet. Lisa and Laura couldn't make it, but Louise and Anna came round with their girls - Anna has Tamsyn and Louise has Eden and Saffron. I haven't seen Anna for 10 years and Louise for 15, since I left for university, but neither of them has changed all that much, except that Louise has done what I've done and ditched the high-maintenance blonde highlights in favour of chocolate brown :).

We made a few attempts to have a group photo, but with 5 kids aged 6, 4, nearly 3, 9 months and 11 weeks, it wasn't all that easy :). This is the best we could do - there's another reasonably good one but Eden is mid-fidget and has come out very blurry ;).

Back: Jane, Timothy, Louise, Saffron
Front: Me, Daisy, Tamsyn, Eden, Anna

Later on my uncle, aunt and cousin arrived from Huddersfield, so there were 7 of us for dinner that night, and again for lunch the following day.

Sunday morning we went to church, thereby killing lots of birds with one stone as we saw quite a few people who wanted to see Daisy. On Sunday evening Mum & Dad babysat while Sarah, Jen and I went to the cinema to see a recording of the 25th Anniversary Concert of Les Miserables, which took place at the beginning of October at the O2 Arena. It was fantastic - Jen bought me the DVD for my birthday but it isn't released for another couple of weeks; can't wait to get it and watch it again!

On Monday my Godmother and Aunt came round for dinner (that's 6 for dinner that day, for those keeping count - Mum did a wonderful job feeding everyone!), on Tuesday morning Suzanne came round, Tuesday afternoon Jen and I went to visit Carlie and her boys (Noah is 2 and Ben is a couple of weeks younger than Daisy), and on Wednesday we went round to see my friend Sue and her son Theo, who's just turned 1. Jen went back home on Wednesday evening as she had to go back to work on Thursday, while Mum, Daisy and I went up to Durham to see Susie, who I worked with last year in Winchester and who is now at the university studying Music. So not exactly a quiet week, but we had a really lovely time and are looking forward to seeing Nanna, Grandpa and Auntie Jen again in a month.

I took this photo while we were there; makes me laugh every time I see it ;).

Wednesday, 27 October 2010

Ten Things I Didn't Know Before I Had A Baby

1. I'm not too proud to leave the house with no make-up on and baby sick on my clothes and in my hair.
2. The first few weeks are really not rewarding at all.
3. Mums never catch up on lost sleep - they just learn to live with less of it.
4. Poo consistency really is a legitimate conversation topic, but only with close family/other parents/health professionals/friends who know you really well and love you regardless. Don't try and talk dirty with just anyone.
5. There's no such thing as too many muslins.
6. It's not just boys who can pee directionally when having their nappy changed.
7. 'Sleep when baby sleeps' is absolutely essential but much easier said than done when there's laundry to be done, dinner to be eaten, bath time stuff and toys to clear away, milk to be expressed, bottles to be washed and sterilised, groceries to be bought...
8. When I breastfeed, my feet tingle.
9. My stomach muscles ache every time I stand up, and have done since she was born.
10. The world is a much better place after a hot shower.

Thursday, 14 October 2010

A Day in the Life

One of my Twitter friends (she's an IRL friend as well) brought my attention to the fact that Greater Manchester Police are tweeting general information about every phone call they get for 24 hours from 05:00 today. They are highlighting the fact that they have to deal with a broad range of calls, most of which take up considerable time and energy but are not the kind of incidents included in crime statistics, so the work goes largely unnoticed by the public and, more importantly, the politicians.

I've been following them for an hour now and have seen about 150 calls logged, some serious ones like a 3-car accident in Wigan and various street robberies (mostly in Salford, where I used to live), some unexpected ones like 'calling to inform us that door-to-door sales will be taking place' (it looks like it's a requirement for the police to be informed if you're going to do this), and some bizarre ones like 'man shouts "you're gorgeous" to woman' and 'man locked out of house, wants police to break in for him'. Plus there have been 25 or so prank calls or silent calls - either children playing with the phone or people making inadvertent 'pocket calls' from their mobiles. And there were 39 arrests between 09:00 and 11:30.

It's only a quarter of the way through the day and it's had the desired effect on me - made me realise just how much the police gets involved in. And how little we give them credit for.

Friday, 24 September 2010

A Month of Numbers

Daisy is one month old already. Here's a numerical summary of her first month.

Weight lost in first 3 days: 9oz (down to 5lbs 4oz from 5lbs 13oz)
Weight gained since then: 1lb 14oz (now 7lbs 2oz)
Net weight gained: 1lb 5oz
Inches grown: 1 (19.5 from 18.5)
Days before umbilical cord fell off: 8
Visitors to the house: 38
Midwives/health visitors seen since being home: 6
Bunches of flowers received: 7
Teddy bears received: 5
Balloons received: 7
Cards received: 54
Baby-gros received: 67
Baby-gros that are still a bit big: 66
Nights spent in own room: 6
Hours' sleep at a time: 2
Average dirty nappies per day: 10
Feeds per day: 8
Cotton wool balls used: 100s
Loads of baby laundry done: 18
Trips to Hedge End: 6
Trips to Southampton: 1
Trips to Winchester: 2
Sundays we made it to church on time: 1
Sundays we made it to church, albeit a little late (OK, a lot late): 1
Trips to the swimming pool: 1
Days Mummy hasn't cried in the last month: 2
Times people have said 'She's so tiny!': lost count

Here's a picture of her in the only baby-gro that currently fits her :)





Sunday, 19 September 2010

Pregnancy Perks and Pitfalls

In no particular order, here are some observations on the highs and lows of my pregnancy: -

1. Morning sickness isn't just reserved for the mornings
I had a pretty textbook first trimester. From the day before my doctor's appointment to confirm that I was actually pregnant until my 14th week, I felt sick in the mornings and the evenings. Not every morning and evening, but enough to notice a pattern. I didn't realise that the sickness comes in the form of lightheadedness, rather than a stomach ache. I had a fairly unpleasant flight to the US in February, and I had some degree of morning sickness every day throughout the 5-week trip - its abatement coinciding with coming home, actually :-(. I found out that it was worse if I didn't eat within about half an hour of getting up in the morning, so I developed a routine of having half a packet of ready salted crisps first thing while waiting for Rob to wake up so we could go to breakfast.

I have to say, I don't know how women manage morning sickness during subsequent pregnancies, when they already have a child (or children) to look after and all they want to do is lie in bed. Medals all round.

2. Great skin and hair!
Actually, I didn't notice the hair all that much as mine is really thick anyway, but I LOVED the fact that I no longer had teenage skin. Unfortunately it's come back with a vengeance now :-(.

3. Back pain like never before
I'm no stranger to back pain. I've had it in some form or another for 20 years, but around my 30th week I developed a pain under my right shoulder blade which became almost excruciating at times. I was quite worried about driving 5 hours up to my parents' house at 34 weeks, and even more worried about driving back home again at 36 weeks. I won't lie to you, it wasn't pleasant, but I managed to find a seating position that wasn't ridiculously painful. Thank goodness I was driving an automatic, though - my seating position involved putting my right hand behind my head at times, and I couldn't have done that if I'd needed one hand for the gear stick and one for the steering wheel...

4. I've got a secret...
I've always thought that parents can sometimes come across as a little smug when talking to non-parents - 'until you've had a child, you don't know...' - and I'm afraid I've now joined those ranks, although I do try to keep my advice to myself unless asked for it. But I honestly did feel while I was pregnant that I had a secret that no one else knew. I know women have been having babies since the dawn of time, but being pregnant made me feel very special.

5. No charcoal or gherkins!
I was looking forward to seeing what kind of food cravings I would get. But apart from eating everything in sight during my first trimester (only in the afternoons though; mornings and evenings were reserved for throwing up), I didn't have any food-related oddities. Shame.

6. So that's what the inside of my belly button looks like...
I've had an inny for as long as I can remember. At around 28 weeks, my inny became an outy, and it looked weird ;-). I bought a silicon belly button bar from a place online, which said it would move with the shape of my belly, so I thought for £3 I would give it a try. If it didn't work, well I can't remember the last time I knowingly bared my stomach in public, so it wouldn't be the end of the world if I had to take my belly button ring out. I'm not 18 any more, after all - and even then, I didn't have a flat stomach so my belly button rarely saw the light of day. Anyway, the silicon bar did work, and my once-outy is now back to being an inny again.

I thought of loads more while I was pregnant, and kept thinking I must write them down before I forget them... If I think of them I'll do another post.

Monday, 30 August 2010

Pregnancy Photos

Keri gave me the idea to take photos of myself regularly throughout my pregnancy. I not only did that, but I also ripped off the style of picture that she used when she was pregnant, standing in front of a window and turning the flash off to create a silhouette. Good for me she doesn't mind ;-).

I usually took the pictures on a Thursday or Friday, although this became more difficult after I no longer lived at the house I was using to take the pictures, so I just took them when I could. I'm really pleased I persevered with this: I think it will be a nice reminder in years to come.

I need to work out how to make a collage of these pictures, but in the meantime, you can view them here.

Tuesday, 24 August 2010

Surprise!

I had a blog post for today all planned out in my head. It was going to be called 'Fully Cooked!' and I was going to talk about how I'm 37 weeks' pregnant today and therefore technically full term. Then I was going to go on to say that despite being full term, if she decides to show her face before next Wednesday, we'll be having words, as it means she'll be an August birthday and one of the youngest in her school year, rather than a September birthday and one of the oldest in the year below. I was going to say that I had planned a loads of things to do this week so I wouldn't be as bored as I was last week, including going into town to pick up a wallpaper border, lamp shade and pictures for the nursery, waiting in for a delivery of nursery furniture on Friday, dinner with Ben & Jill tomorrow evening, even a trip to the theatre on Thursday afternoon to see Les Mis (I know I've seen it a gazillion times but I thought £20 was a fair price to pay for something to do for a whole afternoon).

Then my waters broke at 06:30 this morning.

I ran to the bathroom and while I was there I looked back at my alarm clock which was taunting me with today's date. 24 August 2010. I sat on the toilet thinking 'This isn't what we planned!' Not only because I never anticipated her coming early but also because, as I mentioned above, I don't have any nursery furniture yet.

Because it was first thing in the morning, I persuaded myself that maybe my waters hadn't broken and I just needed the loo after a night's sleep, as normal. I had a midwife appointment booked in for 09:30 this morning anyway, and nothing else was happening, so I followed my normal morning routine and got showered and dressed - I even had time to straighten my hair! I drove round to Rob's and told him what had happened, then we both went up to the midwife and told her. She checked and confirmed that my waters had broken, and that one way or another we would have a baby by this weekend. She told me that 86% of women go into labour naturally within 24 hours of their waters breaking, and a further 7% of women go into labour within 48 hours, so I should just keep an eye on things.

We came away from the midwife's and went back to Rob's house so he could pack a bag and come and stay at my house until we went to the hospital, whenever that might be. I started having mild period pain-type cramps at the midwife appointment and they carried on while we were at Rob's, but they weren't painful or frequent, which were the two criteria the midwife told me they had to be before ringing the hospital or the birth centre. On the way to my house we stopped at a pharmacy and bought a Tens machine, which I put on almost as soon as we got back.

Rob had planned to go to the gym and do a workout, and ask Ben to fit the car seat while he was there, then go to Sainsbury's on the way home to buy drinks and snacks for the labour. He left the house at 12:40 having already decided not to do a workout but still to get Ben to fit the car seat and stop at Sainsbury's. He didn't get to do either of those things; when he left I went upstairs to check my hospital bag (I'd been throwing things into it for about 10 days but was pretty sure I was missing stuff) and by 13:00 I was having painful contractions lasting about 50 seconds, about 3 minutes apart. I rang Rob and told him to come straight back, then he rang the birth centre when he got here. My midwife happened to be there at the time, and when she heard the noises I was making at the other end of the phone, she told us to come in straight away.

Rob ran upstairs and threw everything that was on my bed back into my hospital bag (I was still convinced there were things missing, and I was right) then we had a mad dash along the motorway to the birth centre. We got there just after 13:30 and went into one of the delivery rooms, stopping a couple of times on the way to have a contraction. I told them I wanted to get in the pool, if possible, so they started filling it while I went to the loo. I was examined at 13:45 and was already fully dilated, so as soon as the pool was full and the right temperature (which took what seemed like forever, but was actually only about 20 minutes), I took the Tens machine off and got in.

I had been using the gas & air while waiting for the pool to fill, but once I got in the pool the midwife (not my pre-natal midwife; a different one) told me not to use the gas & air but instead to concentrate on pushing. I pushed for an hour and a half but each time I had a contraction her head came half out but then went back in again as the contraction faded. A supervising midwife came in and said that she thought I should get out of the pool as much more of the same would cause the baby to get distressed. I think that was the impetus I needed, because there was no way I was getting out of the pool, so I begged her to let me have one more try. She said yes, and told me not to forget to use the gas & air. What?? I thought I wasn't allowed to! I'd been pushing hard for 90 minutes with no pain relief, and now she tells me I can use it??? So I did. A lot.

One huge push and a few seconds of the most excruciating pain later, her head was out, then it was no time at all before we were pulling her up out of the water and laying her on my chest. Daisy Rebecca, born at 15:36 on Tuesday 24 August 2010.


I know it sounds corny, but for the rest of the day, nothing else mattered.

I stayed in the pool with her for about 25 minutes, then Rob took her while I delivered the placenta (easily one of the most disgusting things I've ever seen). Then we had some skin to skin time and we tried feeding her. She didn't seem all that interested but she did then feed about an hour later.

Rob went into Southampton at 17:45 to buy a Moses basket (no furniture, remember?) while I was stitched up - I used more gas & air during that hour than I had during the labour. Rob came back at 19:00 with Ben & Ryan for a visit. It wasn't until then that we actually got round to weighing her - 5lb 13oz! I knew she looked tiny but I didn't know she was that small. Although she didn't seem that small when she was coming out of me ;).


Ben had bought today's paper for us to keep as a memento of the day Daisy was born. It was a shame that the paper he chose was the Sun, but he said he picked it because there was an article about Manchester City on the front :). Clare also visited, bringing with her a much appreciated bar of chocolate and a not-quite-so-well-appreciated trashy magazine (seriously, I got to page 72 and still hadn't read an 'article' that was either remotely newsworthy or that concerned any 'celebrity' worth caring about - but Clare knows me well enough to know that's what I would think), then they left when Ben & Jill arrived, armed with a beautiful swaddling blanket and a 'Learn the Alphabet' book in Italian :).

Rob left around 21:30 and for the first time, it was just me and Daisy. I knew I should sleep, but I stayed up till long after midnight just staring at her :).




Saturday, 21 August 2010

Friday, 20 August 2010

Nesting, or Necessity, or Boredom?

I mowed the lawn on Monday night. It hadn't been done for almost a month, and bearing in mind it's the summer, it really needed doing. I'd seen the weather forecast for Tuesday, which was that it would rain that day and on and off the rest of the week, so I took the opportunity to mow the lawn while the grass was dry - particularly as the drainage in my garden isn't all that good and when it rains, the grass stays wet for longer than it should.

It was relatively hard work, but no more so than for a non-pregnant me, I think. Having said that, I remarked on Facebook and Twitter that I won't be rushing to do it again until after I've stopped being pregnant. A few people commented that I should be putting my feet up, or saying it's nice to see that I've started nesting. Except I don't see it as nesting. The lawn needed mowing, so I did it. Monday was the last day for a while that I knew I'd be able to do it, so I did it out of necessity. But I took the advice given and have been putting my feet up for the rest of the week. And man, am I bored.

On Tuesday, I had nothing to do until ante-natal at 18:30. I watched a bit of TV (am working my way through House Season 5 at the moment), and was so bored by mid-afternoon that I had a nap. On Wednesday I had a doctor's appointment at noon and went to the theatre in the evening, but apart from that, nothing to do between getting up at 08:00 and going out at 19:00. So I had another nap in the afternoon to break up the boredom. Today I got up at 08:30 and went back to bed again at 09:30 for a few hours, just so I would have something to do until lunchtime. I showered at 13:00 and watched TV for the rest of the afternoon.

Yesterday afternoon, after a morning of - you guessed it - doing nothing, Rob and I went nursery furniture shopping. I already have a chest of drawers in her room and am waiting for a chair to be delivered, so I picked out the cot bed I wanted and ordered it online today. Is that nesting? Or is it just the reality of having a baby? She's going to need somewhere to sleep, so I'd better get her something, right?

Don't get me wrong, I know that soon enough I'm going to wish I could re-live these days of endless sleep and no responsibility, but it's going to be hard work just sitting here for a month or more, waiting for her to be born.

In conclusion, I find the idea of nesting a weird one. I'm not mowing lawns and putting up curtains because I want to make the place nice for the baby. I'm doing those things because they need doing, pregnant or not, and I might lose the will to live sitting round all day.

Must go. The downstairs toilet's not going to unblock itself.