Dreams

I probably dream about 3 or 4 times a week - those that I remember, anyway. The vast majority (more than 90%) of my dreams follow the same pattern: I'm trying to do something or to go somewhere but things are stopping me. Last night, for example, having spent most of yesterday packing Rob's suitcase for him to take to Sudan, I dreamed that I was in a hotel packing to go home but people kept distracting me, turning a half-hour job into a considerably longer one, and making me very frustrated that I couldn't just get the task done.

The night before my last day at work, I dreamed that I had to get up, have a shower and go to work, but the shower was in the middle of the village green in front of my parents' house and I had to keep running back and forth to their house to get shampoo, etc. Then the water ran out, then one of the dozens of people watching a play on the village green inadvertently stole my towel, so the simple act of having a shower took ages, and again, caused me to get very frustrated. So much so that in this dream I was actually screaming, with tears running down my cheeks. It wasn't the act of being able to have a shower that made me so upset, it was the fact that the task I was trying to do, however trivial, was made so much harder by people or circumstances thwarting me at every turn.

As a 30-something with two degrees and no job, do you think my dreams mean I'm not fulfilling my true potential? ;)

Actually I've been having these dreams for years, not just since I've had no job, but I seriously wonder if my dreams do mean something. I'm not really one for interpreting dreams; I think it's mostly a load of rubbish, but the fact that I have the same dream over and over, and just the context changes, does get me thinking. Although I'm not nearly bored enough in my new role to do anything about it yet!

What do you think?

Mish Mash

Some observations from the last few days: -

I looked out the window on Friday morning and the pond was only a third full. I've no idea what happened to the water, but I filled it back up again with the hose and the level doesn't look to have dropped since then. I'll keep an eye on it - and don't worry, Jen, the fish are fine.

I bought my veil and tiara on Friday.

Ben, my PT, gave me a new gym programme on Wednesday. I did the first day on Thursday and it was soooo much harder than my last programme. There are only three days, so I assume that Ben thinks those three sessions plus my PT session each week are enough. I agree.

Rob and I spent all day today watching the first series of Prison Break.

I baked three batches of oatmeal raisin cookies - one Friday, one yesterday and one today. I had to bake the second and third batches because the first and second got eaten too fast. I'm going to try making lemon & sultana cookies tomorrow.

My left eye hasn't stopped watering for a week now. It's not a constant stream or anything, but 3 or 4 times an hour I find myself wiping my eye. It's made the skin at the corner of my eye and on my eyelid really red and sore. The only thing that would explain why one eye is watering and not both is if I've got something in it, but it doesn't feel like it. I will use an eye bath on it tomorrow and if that doesn't help I'll go to the doctor. It's just weird.

I gave up on the porridge.

Porridge

There are certain foods that sporty people always eat - like bananas, nuts (in moderation) and porridge. I can't stand any of these. But I really like the idea of eating porridge - keeps you going all morning etc etc - so this week I've set out to start liking it. I figure if it was the only food left in the world, I would grow to like it out of necessity, right?

Well, that may be the case, but as long as I know there are Corn Flakes in the cupboard I don't think I'll ever be able to stomach porridge. I've made some for breakfast every day so far this week, and each time I've thrown loads of honey all over it in an effort to make it taste better, but I only get a few mouthfuls in before I give up and admit to myself that this is what it must feel like to eat vomit. It's not so much the taste as it is the texture...

I'll stick at it until the end of the week but unless things get significantly better I'll just have to give this one up as a dead loss. Maybe I'll try to like bananas instead.

Grandad

Rob's Grandad, Roy, died last Thursday, the day before my last day at work. He had had cancer for a few years - it went into remission the first time, but then it came back again about 18 months ago. The funeral was today, so we drove up to Manchester on Wednesday night and we're going home again on Sunday.

Rob gave a lovely speech about his Grandad at the funeral this afternoon, and at the risk of repeating everything he said, here's my take on the man I called Grandad even though he wasn't related to me.

My Mum's Dad died well before I was born, when my Mum was 21, so I never met him. I remember my Dad's Dad, Grandpa, quite well but I was still relatively young (12) when he died. Then in my mid-twenties, I got a third Grandfather - one who told the worst jokes in the world. Still, I suppose there are worse qualities :).

Grandad was never sad. That is, I'm sure he had his share of highs and lows, and I'm equally sure his illness gave him some really hard days, but he never let on. He was always smiling, always happy to see us, and always ready with a big hug. He was Grandma's second husband so strictly speaking was a step-Grandad, but that didn't matter to him one bit - he was more involved with Rob and Tom than most 'regular' Grandads are, especially when they were kids. He was always interested in what we were up to, even though (especially in Rob's case) he probably didn't have the first clue what we did (let's face it, does anyone know exactly what Rob does for a living??). And he was a wonderful husband to Grandma for nearly 30 years.

I'll miss you, Grandad.

Lady of Leisure

Friday was my last day at work. I got some beautiful cards and presents, and lots of lovely messages saying I'd be missed. I've been there almost four years, which is the longest I've ever stayed in one job.

Plans for this week? Well, tomorrow I'm going to get up around 09:00 and go to the gym, then meet Sara and Jill for lunch, then go into town in the afternoon. I've got some plans later in the week to do some actual work - like get someone in to sort out the thermostat in the shower (extremely fine line between freezing and boiling at the moment), do some DIY jobs at home, take some stuff to the charity shop, go to the bank - but I think I'll just ease myself gradually into my new role...

Working from Bed

I don't have transport today and Rob's going to the doctor at noon to get some jabs for his trip to Sudan in a few weeks, so we're working from home this morning and going into the office this afternoon. The UK is in the midst of an 'Arctic snap' at the moment, and temperatures got down to -8°C (18°F) last night - to prove the point, below is a picture I just took of our pond. Our heating goes off during the day while we're not here, so this morning I turned it back on again manually when it clicked off, but it doesn't seem to be helping... Having spent an hour downstairs getting progressively colder, I am now in bed, fully clothed, with the duvet and a blanket over me, working from there. At least now only my hands are cold...

The Year I Get Married...

... is here! Happy New Year everyone. We had a relatively quiet but very nice New Year's Eve with a couple of friends - we went out for a curry then came back to the house and played games until midnight, then watched the London fireworks on TV.

On Friday we went into Winchester on a mission to do two things: buy me some non-brown clothes, and book our honeymoon. We did the first, but not the second. We went to a travel agent to book the honeymoon because we figured it was less hassle than doing it ourselves, but it turns out that the travel agent wasn't able to book what we wanted, so we decided to do it ourselves and get exactly what we wanted, rather than pick a different honeymoon to book via the agent.

This weekend was 'sort the house out' weekend. Exciting, I know. Yesterday I filed away all the paperwork that's been sitting around the office for the best part of a year (which took a good few hours), then I took the Christmas tree down and boxed up all the decorations. Because I only bought the tree a few weeks ago, I needed to find a place to store it, so I spent most of today clearing out our storage space in the spare bedroom, throwing a load of stuff out and re-arranging what was left so the tree would fit in at the back.

Exercise has been non-existent since last Monday's badminton. Back to the program tomorrow.