Too Old For This

I went out for drinks last night with some friends. It was my first night out in Southampton since we moved here almost two years ago, and apart from Catherine's hen night in Manchester a few weeks ago, the first time I'd been clubbing for at least four years, probably longer.

The good news is that 14 and a half years after I became legally old enough to drink, I got asked for ID at one of the clubs. The bad news is I don't think I'm cut out for clubbing any more. Here's why: -

1. I was significantly older than most of the girls I saw. Not the men - there were lots of aging divorcees trying to remember how to look cool - but I felt a decade older than most of the girls. Which was probably true.

2. I only recognised about 10% of the songs we danced to. And the ones I did know, I remembered from the time they were originally released in the early 80s, before they got remixed into dance tracks in the last couple of years.

3. I kept getting more and more astounded by the length of the belts skirts the girls were wearing, and thinking things like "She'll catch her death of cold in that!"

4. Someone pinched my bum at one point and I was so mortified I nearly cried.

5. I asked "HOW MUCH???" when the barmaid told me what my round of drinks cost.

6. When the dancefloor is busy, I tend to keep my feet still and move from my knees. Well, I'm clearly too old for that these days - my knees are creaking something awful this morning.

7. I kept thinking to myself "Why does the music have to be so loud? And why aren't there more places to sit down???"

Ah, the joys of growing up.