The Great Gender Debate

We went for our 20-week scan earlier today. The sonographer said everything looks great from a medical point of view - heartbeat strong, stomach working fine so digestion good, bladder working so kidneys are functioning well, etc etc - which meant we could concentrate on finding out the gender :).

I must say, people do have very strong opinions when it comes to deciding whether or not to find out the gender. Rob said the other day that it seems that people who would choose to find out if they're having a boy or a girl are respectful of others' decisions not to find out, but people who would rather wait until the birth are less likely to be as open-minded about those who choose not to wait. I certainly would agree with that assessment.

I wonder why people who've always waited until the birth to find out the gender say that it's 'better' that way? How would they know? I can certainly appreciate that it keeps you going through a long labour, but really, am I likely to be less inclined to push just because I know what it's going to be? And again, I can see that finding out and announcing a likely name before the birth makes it somewhat less exciting for others: rather than the usual 'oooh, what did they have?' 'what name have they chosen?' questions, you'll get 'oh, the baby's been born now.' But to be honest, I'm not having a baby just so that you can be excited on the day it's born. And Rob's opinion as a father is that if all you're waiting for on the day of the birth is to find out whether it's a boy or a girl, you've kind of missed the point.

A former colleague of mine had a baby last week. They knew it was going to be a girl, and they named her Emily months ago. When I found out she'd been born (2 weeks overdue and after a 3-day labour even though she was induced - well done Kirsty!), obviously there was no need for the 'what did they have?' questions, but I was still really pleased for them. I guess part of the reasoning behind my opinion on the matter could be that, without wishing to make this political or stir up a huge backlash, I don't believe that life begins on the day a child is born. The fact that one day Emily was in utero and the next day (or in this case, a few days later) she was outside the womb didn't make a whole lot of difference; she didn't suddenly become a baby girl the day she was born. She already was a baby girl, and if she had been born a day, a week, or a month earlier she would still have been a baby girl. And I'm pretty sure that Kirsty and Mark couldn't care less whether or not I approved of their decision to find out Emily's gender beforehand, and I'm equally sure that they didn't care what impact that decision had on my reaction to news of her birth.

I had a lovely message this morning from another friend who's due a week or so after me, saying they chose to find out their son's gender a couple of years ago and are really looking forward to finding out the gender of their second child next week. In her opinion, it means you can start to get to know them before they're born. I'd agree with that, but quite simply, the main impetus for our choosing to find out the gender is the fact that Rob is far too impatient to want to wait another 4.5 months... Plus we'd like to do some preparation - decorating the baby's room etc - and knowing the baby's gender makes that a whole lot easier. Although I'm quite keen on the idea of a neutral-coloured nursery, after all that!


Oh, and by the way, the sonographer said that whilst they never predict with 100% certainty because there's always someone who will sue them if they get it wrong, she's pretty sure it's a girl. Which means the discussion we put on hold last weekend will now need to be taken up again :).

All About Blood

I had a call from the GP's surgery this morning - my blood results from the sample the midwife took last Thursday came back with a white blood count that's in the normal range, so they won't need to refer me to a haematologist.

What I forgot to mention last week, though, is that my blood type came back A-negative. Which is interesting, given the conversation I had with a doctor from the Blood Donor Service a couple of years ago, saying that I was A-positive but my positive antigens were so weak that it was difficult to tell whether I was positive or negative. I mentioned this to the midwife and she said she'd never heard of that before, but there was no doubt in their eyes that I was A-negative, so I'd be receiving Anti-D injections later in the pregnancy.

16-Week Midwife Appointment

Rob and I went to my 16-week check-up with the midwife today. I'm over 18 weeks now, but I had my 12-week appointment 2 weeks late, so at least I'm consistent...

Everything looks fine, although she did say that the blood test she took last time came back with a slightly low white blood count. She took some more blood today and said they'll see what the result comes back with this time. It might come back normal, but if it's still low, she'll ask my GP to refer me to a haematologist.

She put the Doppler Monitor on me again, and immediately we heard 3 quick heartbeats, but then the baby moved and she had to find the heartbeat again. It took AGES, at least a couple of minutes, and by the time she eventually did find it again Rob was close to having kittens, but it was all OK in the end. She said there is sometimes truth to the rumour that girls' heartbeats are quicker than boys', but it doesn't always work out that way, and she said that a heartbeat around 135-140bpm is very middle of the road and it would be impossible to tell the gender. True to form, the heartbeat was 138bpm so we're none the wiser, although my 20-week fetal anomaly (and gender) scan is only 2 weeks away. I have no hunches either way about the gender, and can quite honestly say that I have no preference (I wouldn't have said that 6 months ago; I wasn't keen on the idea of a boy at all until I spent a week with Keri, Annabelle and Corgan and found out that boys can be just as awesome as girls), but I'm looking forward to finding out!

The midwife will ring me when she gets my new blood results back, and I'll next see her at 24 weeks. Hope it will actually be 24 weeks this time, and not 26 :).

Ingredients: Cake Mix, Dowel Rods, Duct Tape...

We were having dinner with Ben & Jill, Andy & Cathy sometime last year, discussing Andy & Cathy's wedding, which was yesterday. Before I go on to the main topic of this blog post, I'll just stop and say that the wedding was wonderful, Cathy looked beautiful and apart from Rob nearly making someone on our table seriously ill with his talk of exactly how laser eye surgery is performed, we had a fabulous time.

During that dinner last year, Ben mentioned the concept of a groom's cake, which is a tradition we don't have over here. Suffice to say that within 90 seconds, Rob and Ben had taken it upon themselves to provide Andy with such a cake.

Every so often, Rob would think of a new idea for the cake. Things like a carrot chocolate vanilla sponge cake, that sort of idea. While we were on holiday in March we discussed the possibility of them making a cake in the shape of a computer keyboard, and by the time we got back from holiday Rob was keen to get practising.

Turns out Ben & Jill were having similar discussions, and they even got as far as arranging for Ben pick up boxes and boxes of cake mix, frosting mix, food colouring and flavouring on one of his trips to the States. Ultimately the decision was taken to make a cake in the shape of a Zoom lollipop, which looks like this:


Once Cathy, who was making her own wedding cake (she also made our cake last year), found out that the boys were serious about making a groom's cake, she told them that she wouldn't bake a sponge cake as well as a fruit cake. Which meant that if anyone didn't like fruit cake, the groom's cake was the only alternative. Which meant that it actually had to taste good.

Here's a shot of the boys in action on practice day:


The practice session went well, in that it didn't all work but decisions were then made on how to modify the plan so that it would all come together for the real thing. And it did! Well, almost:


OK, so it's a little wonky, but it wouldn't be recognisable as the boys' handiwork if it were perfect; this was the first cake either of them had made outside of Home Economics class at school, after all.

Not only is each layer the right colour, but they were also flavoured accordingly: strawberry for the red layer, lemon for the yellow and lime for the green. Although the lime one was very strong, despite the fact that Ben put exactly the same amount of flavouring in than he had for the lemon and strawberry ones. In the end they decided to ask the kitchen not to serve the lime layer for fear of damaging people's tastebuds.

Jill was concerned about the top layers sinking into the bottom layers, so I made a quick dash to the shops on the way round to their place to buy cake bases and dowel rod. And as I couldn't find our hacksaw and didn't know if Ben & Jill owned one, I bought one of those as well, to cut the dowel to length. What kind of cake necessitates the purchasing of a hacksaw??? I could only find large cake bases so we had to cut them down to size, and in doing that we exposed the compressed cardboard on two sides of the base, so we covered the exposed edges with duct tape. Because no cake is complete without adding a couple of lengths of duct tape.

It was all a bit of a laugh (although I won't deny that the boys did start feeling the pressure a little), and in the end it actually tasted really good. What's next, boys?

Progress

After almost 4 months, most of the rooms in the new house are starting to look the way they're supposed to. There are still a couple that haven't been unpacked, but we can just close the doors to those rooms for a few weeks :). I took these pictures right in the middle of the day so the light from the windows is a bit bright, but here goes.

Here's the family room:


The dining room:


The view of the piano from the other side of the dining room:


The main guest room:


The second guest room:


Another view of the second guest room, to show the cupboards we had built into the eaves:


And finally, for now, the last guest room (it's a sofa bed):


We've got one more bedroom to decorate, but we won't do that until we find out if the room's occupant is going to be a boy or a girl. Then we're having the office furnished the first week of May, and I still have to take pictures of our bedroom, which is finished but not particularly tidy today :).

Welcome to My World

Today is the last day before we both go back to work. I had a load of things I wanted to get done, namely:

• Go to the old house in Hedge End to pick up the piano stool and leave a bag of instructions/guarantees relating to appliances in that house (yes, that's right, the photograph of the piano posted to last Wednesday was only actually taken and posted today)
  
• Get a picture frame from Hobbycraft to replace one that got broken in the move;
  
• Buy some bed linens from John Lewis in Southampton, using the gift vouchers we got from Mum & Dad for Christmas (we must have shopped there a dozen times in the last four months and haven't once remembered to take the vouchers with us);
  
• Get a new pair of jeans;
  
• Buy rawl plugs, light bulbs and a toilet seat from B&Q in Hedge End;
  
• Get a new chain for my necklace - the one that came with it is the kind that pinches the hairs on the back of my neck every time I turn my head;
  

And seeing as I was going to the old house and there's a household waste centre close by and we have a house filled with junk, I added: -

• Take a car load of rubbish to the waste centre;
  

Then Rob said he would like sausage and mash for lunch so I also added: -

• Buy sausages, potatoes, onions & Yorkshire puddings from Sainsbury's in Hedge End;
  

Because my brain is terrible at remembering things at the best of times, I made a list on my phone in the order I would do everything, which was: load car up with rubbish; waste centre; B&Q; old house for piano stool; Sainsbury's; into town for John Lewis, jeans and necklace chain; back home via Hobbycraft for picture frame.

It took me well over half an hour and at least a dozen trips up and down stairs to fill the Jaguar up with stuff to take to the waste centre. I was almost finished loading the car when I checked the washing in the machine and saw that it only had 8 minutes to go, so I decided to wait till it had finished and put it in the dryer before I left. I made the last couple of trips out to the car, put the bag of instructions/guarantees in the car, picked up my handbag and even remembered to grab the folder of fabric swatches for the bedrooms so I can match the bed linens with what we've already got (I forgot to take it when I went on Friday so I had to wing it). AND I took my necklace with me and put a sample piece of wood in my handbag that's the colour of the cabinets in the piano room, where I want the picture frame to go, so I could match that up too. I couldn't believe I was so organised!

The first part was fine. I unloaded the car at the waste centre and got what I needed from B&Q, plus some nice light shades for the top bedroom. Then I went round to the house to get the piano stool and it wasn't until I was pulling into the drive that I realised I hadn't actually checked that I had the key with me. I didn't. Then I remembered that I hadn't picked up the John Lewis vouchers. And I hadn't put the washing in the dryer before leaving the house.

It was 12:30 so I decided to go to Sainsbury's, get the groceries, fill the car up as it was close to empty, go home and cook lunch then make a second trip out this afternoon with the old house keys and the John Lewis vouchers to do the other jobs on the list. Sainsbury's wasn't too bad, especially for a Sunday, but the petrol station was chaos; they were queuing out on to the road so I decided I would come back another time.

I got home, made lunch, burned the apple crumble because I still don't know how to work our oven, picked up the old house keys and John Lewis vouchers (finally!), put the washing in the dryer and set out again, only this time I decided to take the Audi as the petrol stations will be busy all day today - I'll fill up the Jaguar tomorrow. By some miracle I remembered to go into the Jag and get the swatch folder from the front seat, and I set out again for the old house. When I got there I realised I hadn't brought the bag of guarantees out of the Jaguar.

I got the piano stool and picked up the mail that had accumulated over the past few days, then went into town, got the stuff I wanted from John Lewis, bought a pair of jeans and a new chain for my necklace, then I drove to Hobbycraft for a picture frame, armed with my sample piece of wood for comparison. Then I realised that it's all very well knowing what colour frame to pick, but if you don't know what size the picture is, choosing a frame is going to be difficult...

Sigh.

Apparently we're having an alien...

I had my first scan this morning. I was given a due date of 14 September, making me 14 weeks and 4 days today, and I was told that everything was in the normal range. The baby seemed very energetic and did lots of moving round while we were in there, but the one thing it didn't do was face the camera :). In fact the sonographer told me to go and walk around while she saw the next lady and then she'd bring me back in to see if we could get a better shot.

The baby still wasn't facing the right way (my opinion is that it turned round then turned back again in the time I was walking round, just to be awkward) but the sonographer took a couple of shots anyway. Here they are.

Although they're separate shots, the top two are more or less close-ups of the bottom two. The ones on the left show the baby on its tummy, with its spine at the top and a leg on the left, and the ones on the right show a fairly scary-looking shot of the best we could see of its face.

If you click on the picture you can zoom in for a closer look.

Here's hoping it won't burst out of my stomach like it did with Sigourney Weaver...

It's So Shiny...

At the end of November, we went up to London for the weekend and bought a piano. It wasn't one of those 'went out for a loaf of bread and ended up with a piano' moments; we actually went to London with the intention of buying a piano, as the shop was having a pre-VAT increase, pre-2010 price increase sale. We bought a beautiful Model A, 6' 2" black grand piano, and arranged to have it delivered to the new house in early January.

We planned to have it delivered in the first week of January, but then we got snowed in so had to postpone the delivery. Then we decided to have the piano room decorated, including new carpets, so we postponed the delivery again until today.

So, almost 4 months after we paid for it, it's finally here.


There was a bit of a cock-up with the stool: this is the one from our upright piano that's still at the old house; we're selling it to a friend. The delivery men said the stool would be coming separately by courier, and after watching them lug a grand piano up a flight of stairs I didn't have the heart to complain about that, but when I contacted the shop about when the stool would be delivered, the lady told me it should have come with the piano... They are going to arrange to have a stool sent to me but the old one will do for now.

I love this piano. I didn't intend to get one as big as this; we had in mind when we went to the shop that we would get a Model M (5' 7") or a Model O (5' 10 3/4"), but when I tried this one it sounded so much better than the others. Just need to spend some time practising now!

First Midwife Appointment

I spoke to the midwife while we were in Bora Bora and arranged to go for my booking appointment this afternoon, after we arrived back this morning. Rob didn't sleep at all on the flight, which is unusual for him, and it even took me a couple of hours to get off to sleep but I did manage to get about 4 hours, which was better than nothing, even for plane sleep.

We got back to the house around 12:30 and checked out our newly decorated bedrooms - pictures later. We had to re-assemble our bed once the guys had finished putting up the curtains in there, and as soon as we'd done that Rob just collapsed onto it :). It was 15:00 by this time and my appointment was at 16:00. I told him not to worry about coming with me; it was only a booking appointment after all. We would just be going through family medical history etc to establish whether I was going to be a 'risky' pregnancy and therefore whether my obstetric care should be handled by a doctor or whether it could be done by the midwife. It was also going to take up to 90 minutes so I told him not to come; he should get some sleep and come to the scan on Saturday and he wouldn't miss anything.

What I didn't know was that the midwife had a Doppler Monitor and was going to check the baby's heartbeat at this appointment. The rest of the appointment was exactly as I thought it would be - I'm a low-risk pregnancy so my care will be midwife-led - but I almost cried when I heard the heartbeat, not just because it was incredible but also because I knew Rob would be gutted he'd missed it. And that's when I remembered about the wonder that is the Voice Memo app on the iPhone...

I only had about 4% battery left on my phone as I hadn't been able to charge it up overnight on the flight, but it was just enough to get this recorded.

I played it to Rob when I got home, and then I cried ;). Hearing the heartbeat made it all seem real for the first time - even the weeks of morning sickness, weird metallic taste in my mouth and ridiculously heightened sense of smell didn't 'prove' to me that I'm pregnant; they're all symptoms that can be explained by other things. But this? Wow.

Plus, it's Rob's birthday today, and I think I'd have to try hard to top the sound of your first child's heartbeat as the best birthday present :).

Southampton to Santa Barbara in 20 hours

Flying miles: 5,471
Driving miles: 160; 64 from home to Heathrow, 96 from LAX to Santa Barbara

Woke up 07:00, car picked us up 10:00, arrived LHR 11:00 to make the most of lounge access. Saw Jason Statham at airport. Had Thai chicken wrap for lunch, boarded plane at 14:45, took off almost an hour late at 16:00, watched An Education (very good), threw up chicken wrap, had tomato soup, threw up tomato soup. Declined main course and dessert on account of previous record with food so far today. Slept on and off for 6 hours, threw up bile, had 3 sips of water and ginger biscuit, threw up water and ginger biscuit. Had to sit in seat for landing so threw up rest of ginger biscuit, water and bile into sick bag. Got through baggage claim and customs without having to find a loo: good, because there weren't any. Waited outside Hertz office in fresh air while Rob sorted out paperwork for rental car, left LAX in Volvo C70 just after 20:00, arrived at the Upham Hotel in Santa Barbara just before 22:00, with a quick stop at Camarillo to throw up stomach lining at side of road. Straight to bed at 22:30.

Got another 6 flights this trip - hope they're not all like this one...