5 things that tell me I have a tan

Apart from the actual changing colour of the skin, of course.

• The hairs on my arms turn blonde;
  
  
• The skin on my face gets less greasy and I get fewer breakouts - but it also gets more irritated by the salt water and stings quite a lot;
  
  
• I get 'old lady hands' - they look browner but also more wrinkled;
  
  
• All the marks on my skin that were once scars and then faded come back, and go darker than the rest of me - this year, among others, I've got a mark on my arm where I burned myself on the oven a couple of months ago, and lots of scars on my legs from when I got bitten half to death last year in St Lucia;
  
  
• The freckle on my chin appears - the one that only comes out after a few days in the sun.
  

Reading this back, I'm even less sure than ever why I want to get a suntan, but then I remember... Without a tan I'm really pasty!